"Give me that." 'No.' "Why?" 'Stop asking stupid questions. It's mine and I'm not giving you anything.'
This is a short conversation which I have at least three times a week, with various boys. As I said in my previous update, the boys like my property. But that was mostly a first impression I had at that time. As time passes by I get to know the boys better and better. Be it just being able to predict what they're up to, or talking with them about their past.
Every time I talk to one of the boys about his past, I'm speechless. I knew before I came here that these boys have had a hard youth, but hearing the stories from them in person is something no one can prepare you for. Almost all of them have dealt with abuse. By which I mean abuse in a wide range. Parents addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling and beating their kids till they drop down on the floor: I've heard it all. Some are orphans, some have one parent left and some don't even know where their real parents are.
All the stories make me wonder: Where would I be if I had to deal with the trouble they have?
I completely understand why some of them do the things they do.Them being addicted to alcohol, drugs, cigarettes or whatever is not a solution to their problems. However, I understand that they do it, for it makes them forget about all the terrible things that they have encountered in the short life they've lived so far.
The strong live of the weak and the clever live of the strong.
Alright, time for happier things now. Many people ask me what a day at Boys Town looks like for me.
Well, I first wake up around 6 a.m. to the most horrible sound there is in South Africa: hadida's. (Some of you might have seen the pictures of these birds on Facebook. If not: my albums are accessible for everyone so look them up if you want :))
Anyhow, after I've been woken up by the sound of a seagull crossed with a crow, I try to sleep for a few more hours.
The boys have breakfast at 7 a.m. and shortly after that they go to school. Sometimes I join them for breakfast and travel with them by bus to their schools, though mostly I'm too tired to get out of bed so early. (Don't judge that, you'll understand why I'm tired)
So around 9 I get out of bed and have breakfast on my own. What I really like to do is eat my breakfast in front of the staff office. From here I can see one or two whales passing by in the sea in front of Boys Town, whilst I relax in the morning sun. This peaceful moment is one of the many reasons why I love this country.
After I've finished enjoying the morning sun, the waiting begins. It is waiting for the boys to come back from school and though it can be boring, it is necessary because when the boys are back they drain all the energy away. So what I do is reading, watching television, drawing (not serious but scribbling), wandering around, sunbathing, listening to music... all sorts of things to kill time. I'm getting a library card soon, which I'm really looking forward to. There are some books in our house but they're not really the type of books I like. Being able to read the books I want will be good. Very good.
Around 3 p.m. the boys come back from school. Yay, here we go. My first task is helping with homework. That is, if they want to do their homework. Usually there are around five boys who do their homework. (22 of the boys go to school) Their homework isn't necessarily that hard, but it's the other boys who make it hard. As I try to concentrate on the kid and his homework I'm helping him with, the other boys also want attention. So they start throwing pens, tapping me constantly and occasionally I get bitten. Talking doesn't help, so to send them away I either turn their arm around, bend their fingers backwards or anything like that. It's not that I seriously want to hurt them, it's just the only way for them to stop annoying me. Homework sessions can take very long, up till half past five.
Then "activity time" starts and I do sports or games with the boys. This is mostly football, table football, volleyball or just walking around in Boys Town and see what they're up to. Activity is even more exhausting than the homework session. Not only are they pretty good at sports, which tests my condition, but they tend to fight and argue most of the time over the smallest things. Since they're shouting at each other in Zulu, I have no idea what they're saying. So I have to interrupt and make them compromise in English. If they're fighting I have to interrupt physically and calm them down.
This goes on till 6.30 p.m., which is supper time. The food hasn't really changed since my last post. Sometimes, that is if we say we want something different than rice, we get sandwiches for dinner.
After supper the boys go upstairs to their rooms, the TV lounge or the soccer table. On rare occasions there's still a boy who wants help with his homework (yay again), but I usually walk around a bit and play table football with them.
Around 8 p.m. my working day has finished and I go down to my house, where I take a nice long shower, sit on the couch underneath a blanket and watch TV. I go to bed around 8.30, which is obviously much earlier than what I was used to. The thing is just that I'm totally exhausted and barely can keep my eyes open.
During the weekends the boys are in Boys Town the entire day, so I take breaks during the day to rest a bit, for the boys demand even more attention. Sometimes we've got outings, on which we drive around in the bus and stop at various places to eat cookies and drink juice. Last weekend there was a big event called VIP day, which the boys enjoyed really much and so did I! (Free good food woop woop!)
So yeah, that's how I spend my days in Boys Town. I hear a lot of friends saying that university is a lot of work, so I wonder whether it's going to be as exhausting for me as this project. (Probably).
I have not been homesick (yet) and I couldn't imagine living back in The Netherlands again, though sometimes it would be good to hang out with friends. Not really doing anything special, but just the way it was. So it's a bit of a pity that most of my friends are currently in The Netherlands, which is almost 9500 km away. Bit far, so texting it is, I guess!
I've posted my phone number in my last update. Of course there's also the possibility to send letters! Send them to:
Tom Matthiesen
Girls and Boys Town
PO Box 67
Tongaat 4400
Kwa Zulu Natal
South Africa
The letters take quite long to arrive (up to a month), so don't expect an answer immediately! Please do not send me any parcels, for previous volunteers had some of them gone missing. This goes for the bigger and more expensive parcels, so I think a pair of socks will arrive :) (I don't need socks by the way, I've got plenty of them)
Tom
