"You must write a new blog!" Yeah, great, but I kind of need inspiration for that. So, being the good person that I am, I meditated for 3 days and nights (please don't take this too seriously), and here's the result.
As it gets warmer and warmer here - more and more days reach 30+ degrees Celsius - it is strange to realize that winter is coming to The Netherlands. With winter comes the Dutch tradition Sinterklaas which I, very unfortunately, won't be celebrating this year. (For the non-Dutch people, here's a link wherein Sinterklaas is explained: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinterklaas )
Next to that, during Christmas and New Years there won't be any snow... However, to make up for the lack of snow (and because it's nice to hang out with other volunteers) I will be celebrating Christmas and New Years in Cape Town with a bunch of other volunteers.
Needless to say that I'm really looking forward to this! Said it anyway
Also, coming Thursday till Monday I'll be in Durban with a small group of volunteers to party and have a break from my project :)
Which brings me to my project itself.
Shortly after I arrived (which is a pretty long time ago already, time flies by) I got warnings and predictions from several staff members that during the 4th term the boys would be the worst to deal with. They said this is because the boys will go back to their homes after their exams. Either forever, or for a holiday. Now I hear you thinking: How does that relate to them being worse? Well, most of the boys don't want to go home, which is why they get even more rebellious.
And I can't deny it: the predictions have come true. Mostly the older boys behave even worse, where sometimes I couldn't even imagine that would be possible.
Luckily, in the past few days and in the coming week most of the biggest troublemakers got sent home and will be sent home. What's left is a group almost entirely consisting of laaities (slang, meaning smaller kids) and they're not too hard to deal with. Even better: they listen to me.
I've been working pretty hard to create a better bond with the laaities and I'm really glad to say that it seems to be paying off. When I lend them the football, they bring it back. When they've got a problem, they're willing to talk about it. Yesterday one of them even came to me for a hug, which made me quite proud.
A few weeks ago this all was the complete opposite (they ran off with the football and such, so let alone them coming to me for hugs). Last Saturday I had such a good day that I felt the need to post it on Facebook. Which was the first time I did that in all the days I've been here, so I guess that says a lot.
Last Friday I took my iPad out of the safe and went on Skype in Beach Bums (the local pub where they already know what I want to drink when I arrive). I chatted with my parents, my grandparents and Nick, which made me feel really good.
Oh yeah, I also got the question: "I've seen the pictures on Facebook of your trip to Coffee Bay, but where's the story?"
The thing is, that I don't write all my experiences, so I have stories left to tell when I'm back in The Netherlands. And I already have quite some stories to tell
So please be patient, I'm not gonna keep all my stories hidden forever ;)
That's it for this time. I have no idea when I'll write again, so just keep an eye on Facebook!
Tom
Tuesday 12 November 2013
Wednesday 23 October 2013
Life at Boys Town
"Give me that." 'No.' "Why?" 'Stop asking stupid questions. It's mine and I'm not giving you anything.'
This is a short conversation which I have at least three times a week, with various boys. As I said in my previous update, the boys like my property. But that was mostly a first impression I had at that time. As time passes by I get to know the boys better and better. Be it just being able to predict what they're up to, or talking with them about their past.
Every time I talk to one of the boys about his past, I'm speechless. I knew before I came here that these boys have had a hard youth, but hearing the stories from them in person is something no one can prepare you for. Almost all of them have dealt with abuse. By which I mean abuse in a wide range. Parents addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling and beating their kids till they drop down on the floor: I've heard it all. Some are orphans, some have one parent left and some don't even know where their real parents are.
All the stories make me wonder: Where would I be if I had to deal with the trouble they have?
I completely understand why some of them do the things they do.Them being addicted to alcohol, drugs, cigarettes or whatever is not a solution to their problems. However, I understand that they do it, for it makes them forget about all the terrible things that they have encountered in the short life they've lived so far.
The strong live of the weak and the clever live of the strong.
Alright, time for happier things now. Many people ask me what a day at Boys Town looks like for me.
Well, I first wake up around 6 a.m. to the most horrible sound there is in South Africa: hadida's. (Some of you might have seen the pictures of these birds on Facebook. If not: my albums are accessible for everyone so look them up if you want :))
Anyhow, after I've been woken up by the sound of a seagull crossed with a crow, I try to sleep for a few more hours.
The boys have breakfast at 7 a.m. and shortly after that they go to school. Sometimes I join them for breakfast and travel with them by bus to their schools, though mostly I'm too tired to get out of bed so early. (Don't judge that, you'll understand why I'm tired)
So around 9 I get out of bed and have breakfast on my own. What I really like to do is eat my breakfast in front of the staff office. From here I can see one or two whales passing by in the sea in front of Boys Town, whilst I relax in the morning sun. This peaceful moment is one of the many reasons why I love this country.
After I've finished enjoying the morning sun, the waiting begins. It is waiting for the boys to come back from school and though it can be boring, it is necessary because when the boys are back they drain all the energy away. So what I do is reading, watching television, drawing (not serious but scribbling), wandering around, sunbathing, listening to music... all sorts of things to kill time. I'm getting a library card soon, which I'm really looking forward to. There are some books in our house but they're not really the type of books I like. Being able to read the books I want will be good. Very good.
Around 3 p.m. the boys come back from school. Yay, here we go. My first task is helping with homework. That is, if they want to do their homework. Usually there are around five boys who do their homework. (22 of the boys go to school) Their homework isn't necessarily that hard, but it's the other boys who make it hard. As I try to concentrate on the kid and his homework I'm helping him with, the other boys also want attention. So they start throwing pens, tapping me constantly and occasionally I get bitten. Talking doesn't help, so to send them away I either turn their arm around, bend their fingers backwards or anything like that. It's not that I seriously want to hurt them, it's just the only way for them to stop annoying me. Homework sessions can take very long, up till half past five.
Then "activity time" starts and I do sports or games with the boys. This is mostly football, table football, volleyball or just walking around in Boys Town and see what they're up to. Activity is even more exhausting than the homework session. Not only are they pretty good at sports, which tests my condition, but they tend to fight and argue most of the time over the smallest things. Since they're shouting at each other in Zulu, I have no idea what they're saying. So I have to interrupt and make them compromise in English. If they're fighting I have to interrupt physically and calm them down.
This goes on till 6.30 p.m., which is supper time. The food hasn't really changed since my last post. Sometimes, that is if we say we want something different than rice, we get sandwiches for dinner.
After supper the boys go upstairs to their rooms, the TV lounge or the soccer table. On rare occasions there's still a boy who wants help with his homework (yay again), but I usually walk around a bit and play table football with them.
Around 8 p.m. my working day has finished and I go down to my house, where I take a nice long shower, sit on the couch underneath a blanket and watch TV. I go to bed around 8.30, which is obviously much earlier than what I was used to. The thing is just that I'm totally exhausted and barely can keep my eyes open.
During the weekends the boys are in Boys Town the entire day, so I take breaks during the day to rest a bit, for the boys demand even more attention. Sometimes we've got outings, on which we drive around in the bus and stop at various places to eat cookies and drink juice. Last weekend there was a big event called VIP day, which the boys enjoyed really much and so did I! (Free good food woop woop!)
So yeah, that's how I spend my days in Boys Town. I hear a lot of friends saying that university is a lot of work, so I wonder whether it's going to be as exhausting for me as this project. (Probably).
I have not been homesick (yet) and I couldn't imagine living back in The Netherlands again, though sometimes it would be good to hang out with friends. Not really doing anything special, but just the way it was. So it's a bit of a pity that most of my friends are currently in The Netherlands, which is almost 9500 km away. Bit far, so texting it is, I guess!
I've posted my phone number in my last update. Of course there's also the possibility to send letters! Send them to:
Tom Matthiesen
Girls and Boys Town
PO Box 67
Tongaat 4400
Kwa Zulu Natal
South Africa
The letters take quite long to arrive (up to a month), so don't expect an answer immediately! Please do not send me any parcels, for previous volunteers had some of them gone missing. This goes for the bigger and more expensive parcels, so I think a pair of socks will arrive :) (I don't need socks by the way, I've got plenty of them)
Tom
This is a short conversation which I have at least three times a week, with various boys. As I said in my previous update, the boys like my property. But that was mostly a first impression I had at that time. As time passes by I get to know the boys better and better. Be it just being able to predict what they're up to, or talking with them about their past.
Every time I talk to one of the boys about his past, I'm speechless. I knew before I came here that these boys have had a hard youth, but hearing the stories from them in person is something no one can prepare you for. Almost all of them have dealt with abuse. By which I mean abuse in a wide range. Parents addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling and beating their kids till they drop down on the floor: I've heard it all. Some are orphans, some have one parent left and some don't even know where their real parents are.
All the stories make me wonder: Where would I be if I had to deal with the trouble they have?
I completely understand why some of them do the things they do.Them being addicted to alcohol, drugs, cigarettes or whatever is not a solution to their problems. However, I understand that they do it, for it makes them forget about all the terrible things that they have encountered in the short life they've lived so far.
The strong live of the weak and the clever live of the strong.
Alright, time for happier things now. Many people ask me what a day at Boys Town looks like for me.
Well, I first wake up around 6 a.m. to the most horrible sound there is in South Africa: hadida's. (Some of you might have seen the pictures of these birds on Facebook. If not: my albums are accessible for everyone so look them up if you want :))
Anyhow, after I've been woken up by the sound of a seagull crossed with a crow, I try to sleep for a few more hours.
The boys have breakfast at 7 a.m. and shortly after that they go to school. Sometimes I join them for breakfast and travel with them by bus to their schools, though mostly I'm too tired to get out of bed so early. (Don't judge that, you'll understand why I'm tired)
So around 9 I get out of bed and have breakfast on my own. What I really like to do is eat my breakfast in front of the staff office. From here I can see one or two whales passing by in the sea in front of Boys Town, whilst I relax in the morning sun. This peaceful moment is one of the many reasons why I love this country.
After I've finished enjoying the morning sun, the waiting begins. It is waiting for the boys to come back from school and though it can be boring, it is necessary because when the boys are back they drain all the energy away. So what I do is reading, watching television, drawing (not serious but scribbling), wandering around, sunbathing, listening to music... all sorts of things to kill time. I'm getting a library card soon, which I'm really looking forward to. There are some books in our house but they're not really the type of books I like. Being able to read the books I want will be good. Very good.
Around 3 p.m. the boys come back from school. Yay, here we go. My first task is helping with homework. That is, if they want to do their homework. Usually there are around five boys who do their homework. (22 of the boys go to school) Their homework isn't necessarily that hard, but it's the other boys who make it hard. As I try to concentrate on the kid and his homework I'm helping him with, the other boys also want attention. So they start throwing pens, tapping me constantly and occasionally I get bitten. Talking doesn't help, so to send them away I either turn their arm around, bend their fingers backwards or anything like that. It's not that I seriously want to hurt them, it's just the only way for them to stop annoying me. Homework sessions can take very long, up till half past five.
Then "activity time" starts and I do sports or games with the boys. This is mostly football, table football, volleyball or just walking around in Boys Town and see what they're up to. Activity is even more exhausting than the homework session. Not only are they pretty good at sports, which tests my condition, but they tend to fight and argue most of the time over the smallest things. Since they're shouting at each other in Zulu, I have no idea what they're saying. So I have to interrupt and make them compromise in English. If they're fighting I have to interrupt physically and calm them down.
This goes on till 6.30 p.m., which is supper time. The food hasn't really changed since my last post. Sometimes, that is if we say we want something different than rice, we get sandwiches for dinner.
After supper the boys go upstairs to their rooms, the TV lounge or the soccer table. On rare occasions there's still a boy who wants help with his homework (yay again), but I usually walk around a bit and play table football with them.
Around 8 p.m. my working day has finished and I go down to my house, where I take a nice long shower, sit on the couch underneath a blanket and watch TV. I go to bed around 8.30, which is obviously much earlier than what I was used to. The thing is just that I'm totally exhausted and barely can keep my eyes open.
During the weekends the boys are in Boys Town the entire day, so I take breaks during the day to rest a bit, for the boys demand even more attention. Sometimes we've got outings, on which we drive around in the bus and stop at various places to eat cookies and drink juice. Last weekend there was a big event called VIP day, which the boys enjoyed really much and so did I! (Free good food woop woop!)
So yeah, that's how I spend my days in Boys Town. I hear a lot of friends saying that university is a lot of work, so I wonder whether it's going to be as exhausting for me as this project. (Probably).
I have not been homesick (yet) and I couldn't imagine living back in The Netherlands again, though sometimes it would be good to hang out with friends. Not really doing anything special, but just the way it was. So it's a bit of a pity that most of my friends are currently in The Netherlands, which is almost 9500 km away. Bit far, so texting it is, I guess!
I've posted my phone number in my last update. Of course there's also the possibility to send letters! Send them to:
Tom Matthiesen
Girls and Boys Town
PO Box 67
Tongaat 4400
Kwa Zulu Natal
South Africa
The letters take quite long to arrive (up to a month), so don't expect an answer immediately! Please do not send me any parcels, for previous volunteers had some of them gone missing. This goes for the bigger and more expensive parcels, so I think a pair of socks will arrive :) (I don't need socks by the way, I've got plenty of them)
Tom
Thursday 26 September 2013
Welcome to South Africa. Welcome to Boys Town!
Gonna be honest about it, I have mixed feelings about my project so far. Let's begin with the more negative aspects and end with the positive ones. That way the positive feelings stay strongest in memory.
The boys here are, as expected and predicted, in a bad shape. Not necessarily physically, but emotionally. This makes them very unpredictable, which is pretty hard to deal with. One moment they're kind, the next moment they're going on a rampage. Punishments are rare too, since most of the staff members believe in giving love. I agree with them partially, but most of you will know my full opinion on this.
They also show very much interest in valuable stuff, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. Therefore I have all my valuables locked up in the staff office, so that I'm sure they're safe. The boys want to know the price of every piece of clothing you're wearing, and what size it is.... Enough said about that.
Though I'm in a country where many people speak Afrikaans (which is a lot like Dutch) and English, the people here speak mostly Zulu. The boys and staff speak to each other in Zulu, even when Jack and I are next to them. Thanks.
Okay to be fair, the province I'm staying in is called Kwa Zulu Natal, I might have been a tiny bit naïve...
I'm trying to learn the language though. The clicking sounds are by far the hardest to do. Since the boys teach me words all the time, I decided to write them down (phonetically).
The food here is alright, but there's not much variety. Take (old) bread with butter, rice, curry, hamburger/chicken and mix that in any way you like and there's almost every meal I've had so far. Most of the boys are on a holiday now (to their parents, foster parents, other family), but a few are staying here, which is probably the reason why we've had chips twice this week. In the week I've been here I've had exactly one orange.
Jack and I could of course buy our own food, but so far we rarely do that, because the boys show interest in food as well...
The accommodation is, compared to what I expected, HUGE. The boys have their own building where they sleep. It has a TV-lounge (a room with an old television + DVD player and some chairs), football table and a gym (most of the equipment is broken, but alright)
There's a special building where we eat. Furthermore the accommodation includes: staff members' houses, a football/rugby field, a (secured) pool, a basketball field, a library (which is barely used), and a church that is attached to the building I'm staying in.
Ah yes, my "house". Basically it is my room, Jack's room, a bathroom, a shower and a living room. When I first arrived in my room I thought it looked like prison, but once I packed out all my stuff it already looked better. The living room has four couches (of which one is broken), and a television with four channels. I don't use the bathroom to fresh up very often, since I have my own sink in my room. Next to that, the bathtub is yellow (they bought it white). I must say the toilet is pretty clean though. The shower could be cleaner, but I'm really glad it works.
The location is beautiful. We are just a small bridge away from the beach! In the evening you see lots of ships in the sea, waiting to continue their trip to Durban. They're like houses on the sea! Also the night sky is stunning (I spent three days looking for star signs I know, before I realised that I'm at the other end of the world...)
Also there are monkeys running around at Boys Town, which at first I found very exiting but now it's common.
I have a new (local) phone number, on which you can reach me: +27745145703
So let me summarise. This project is going to be a giant challenge for me, but I won't give up so easily. I will have to put lots and lots of time and mostly patience in it if I want to succeed, but I'm going to do the best I can.
Just hold on to the good things, they will drag you through the bad things.
Tom
The boys here are, as expected and predicted, in a bad shape. Not necessarily physically, but emotionally. This makes them very unpredictable, which is pretty hard to deal with. One moment they're kind, the next moment they're going on a rampage. Punishments are rare too, since most of the staff members believe in giving love. I agree with them partially, but most of you will know my full opinion on this.
They also show very much interest in valuable stuff, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. Therefore I have all my valuables locked up in the staff office, so that I'm sure they're safe. The boys want to know the price of every piece of clothing you're wearing, and what size it is.... Enough said about that.
Though I'm in a country where many people speak Afrikaans (which is a lot like Dutch) and English, the people here speak mostly Zulu. The boys and staff speak to each other in Zulu, even when Jack and I are next to them. Thanks.
Okay to be fair, the province I'm staying in is called Kwa Zulu Natal, I might have been a tiny bit naïve...
I'm trying to learn the language though. The clicking sounds are by far the hardest to do. Since the boys teach me words all the time, I decided to write them down (phonetically).
The food here is alright, but there's not much variety. Take (old) bread with butter, rice, curry, hamburger/chicken and mix that in any way you like and there's almost every meal I've had so far. Most of the boys are on a holiday now (to their parents, foster parents, other family), but a few are staying here, which is probably the reason why we've had chips twice this week. In the week I've been here I've had exactly one orange.
Jack and I could of course buy our own food, but so far we rarely do that, because the boys show interest in food as well...
The accommodation is, compared to what I expected, HUGE. The boys have their own building where they sleep. It has a TV-lounge (a room with an old television + DVD player and some chairs), football table and a gym (most of the equipment is broken, but alright)
There's a special building where we eat. Furthermore the accommodation includes: staff members' houses, a football/rugby field, a (secured) pool, a basketball field, a library (which is barely used), and a church that is attached to the building I'm staying in.
Ah yes, my "house". Basically it is my room, Jack's room, a bathroom, a shower and a living room. When I first arrived in my room I thought it looked like prison, but once I packed out all my stuff it already looked better. The living room has four couches (of which one is broken), and a television with four channels. I don't use the bathroom to fresh up very often, since I have my own sink in my room. Next to that, the bathtub is yellow (they bought it white). I must say the toilet is pretty clean though. The shower could be cleaner, but I'm really glad it works.
The location is beautiful. We are just a small bridge away from the beach! In the evening you see lots of ships in the sea, waiting to continue their trip to Durban. They're like houses on the sea! Also the night sky is stunning (I spent three days looking for star signs I know, before I realised that I'm at the other end of the world...)
Also there are monkeys running around at Boys Town, which at first I found very exiting but now it's common.
I have a new (local) phone number, on which you can reach me: +27745145703
So let me summarise. This project is going to be a giant challenge for me, but I won't give up so easily. I will have to put lots and lots of time and mostly patience in it if I want to succeed, but I'm going to do the best I can.
Just hold on to the good things, they will drag you through the bad things.
Tom
Sunday 15 September 2013
FINALLY
Never have I thought time would pass by so fast. Trite to say that? Maybe, but it's certainly true. I'm not going to tell you all my Project Trust memoirs now, so don't worry. I'm not that old.
People often ask me the same questions. Purely out of interest, so I know they ask it with good intentions. Though, after telling numerous times I am indeed excited to go overseas, I want to go even more. For more than 3/4 year I've wanted to do this and for more than 1/2 year I know I'm going. There's litteraly nothing I want more, than to go now.
I'm not going to make any statements of missing things, or people. When I'm asked what I'm going to miss the most, I jokingly say things like my bedroom door, or the streetlight in front of my house. Truth is: I have no idea. Of course, I'll miss my own home, my parents, my brother and my friends. To predict you're going to miss something now, and worrying about that, is like saying the Dutch national football team will become world champion. Probably sometime, but I have no idea when.
I'll be honest, I've feared worrying. Did it, hated it, never again.
Time for happy topics. Let's begin Dutch. The weather in Durban (which is nearby Tongaat, where I'll be living) is quiet good. Temperatures above 20 degrees: I like that.
Also, I've talked with my partner via Facebook. He said the kids are easy to get along with, which is opposed to what we feared. Go Boys Town boys!
I have no topics to talk about now. So yeah. Here I'm sitting now. Said goodbye to my best friend at Schiphol over a week ago, other friends followed last week... Goodbye my family, goodbye my neighborhood. Man, I'm starting to look like James Blunt. I prefer to end this blog like a different singer though.
So.
People often ask me the same questions. Purely out of interest, so I know they ask it with good intentions. Though, after telling numerous times I am indeed excited to go overseas, I want to go even more. For more than 3/4 year I've wanted to do this and for more than 1/2 year I know I'm going. There's litteraly nothing I want more, than to go now.
I'm not going to make any statements of missing things, or people. When I'm asked what I'm going to miss the most, I jokingly say things like my bedroom door, or the streetlight in front of my house. Truth is: I have no idea. Of course, I'll miss my own home, my parents, my brother and my friends. To predict you're going to miss something now, and worrying about that, is like saying the Dutch national football team will become world champion. Probably sometime, but I have no idea when.
I'll be honest, I've feared worrying. Did it, hated it, never again.
Time for happy topics. Let's begin Dutch. The weather in Durban (which is nearby Tongaat, where I'll be living) is quiet good. Temperatures above 20 degrees: I like that.
Also, I've talked with my partner via Facebook. He said the kids are easy to get along with, which is opposed to what we feared. Go Boys Town boys!
I have no topics to talk about now. So yeah. Here I'm sitting now. Said goodbye to my best friend at Schiphol over a week ago, other friends followed last week... Goodbye my family, goodbye my neighborhood. Man, I'm starting to look like James Blunt. I prefer to end this blog like a different singer though.
So.
OPPAN BOYS TOWN STYLE
(hop hop hop hop)
(love that song)
Tom.
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